Foolish Games
by ExLibris3
Summary: Jenny is sick of the foolish game she is playing. But will she find her courage to speak her feelings, even though she is risking to destroy what is left of her already broken heart? Jibbs. Oneshot.


_**Foolish Games**_

_**A/N: **__**The lyrics I used are 'Foolish Games' by Jewel. A Jibbs story. Please review!!**_

_You took your coat off and stood in the rain__,   
You were always crazy like that_

The rain felt like cold needles that pierced her skin. Yet she turned her face toward the sky and closed her eyes, her cheeks went numb from the pain and coolness of the falling rain. The drops trickled down her throat, underneath the only shirt she wore after having left her discarded coat in the car. The drops ran in fine streams down between her breasts, slowly soaking the cotton in her shirt. Her chest heaved with every deep breath she took. As she lowered her head, her gaze fell in the rearview mirror of her car. She studied the reflection of herself, the red hair hung wet and heavy around her face and down her back, a few strands glued to her face. She pushed them back to get a better look at her face. The streetlights provided with enough light that she could make out her features quite clearly. But she could not distinguish the tears from the raindrops. She knew there were tears hiding among all the drops that decorated her skin, she knew she was crying. She turned away from the reflection of herself. All she was able to see was a woman, lost inside and with a bleeding heart. She leaned back against her car, and then slowly sank down to the ground. She banged her head in the car door, but the pounding in the back of her head was nothing compared to the tearing, crushing pain she felt in her heart. She let out a loud cry as she stared up toward the sky, not caring about the hard raindrop falling into her eyes. Nothing mattered if he didn't love her.

_I watched from my window,  
always felt __I was outside looking in on you_

He had just gotten up from his basement, just entered the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee when he cast a glace out the window. He stopped in his movements when he spotted the car that stood parked on his drive way. He knew whose car it was, but he couldn't see the owner. Puzzled to what her car was doing in his drive way, he leaned closer to the window and pushed aside the curtain a little. He was just about to pull away, thought he'd go out and check it out, when he saw a brief movement by the car. He squinted his eyes in order to try to make out the shape sitting on the ground next to the car. The figure sat in the shadow of the car, but he knew there was someone there. In that exact moment, a car passed by outside his house, conveniently casting its lights on the shadowed side of the parked car. He drew a sharp breath as he saw it really was her. She looked nothing like what he had ever seen her look like before. She sat on the ground, one leg bent and the other stretched out before her. Her head leaned against the car, her face turned upward, toward the sky. He had seen she was only wearing a simple shirt, which he was pretty sure was completely soaked by now; he had no idea for how long she had been sitting there. He wasn't even sure why she was sitting there. Even though darkness had once again taken over her side of the car, he could now make out the shape of her body as he knew she was there.

She lowered her head, she felt like she was drowning in the increasing fall of the rain. She was cold to her bones, her body shaking violently as threads of chills went up and down her spine. She was sick of the game she played at the office; the foolish game of pretending not to be in love with him anymore. She decided couldn't sit here any longer. She had asked herself all night why she had come here in the first place, and she still hadn't found the answer. She didn't have the guts to go knock on his door; she couldn't risk the pain cutting deeper into her heart when he said he didn't love her anymore. Her heart had already been trashed once because of him, and even after all these years, it hadn't completely healed. She rose from the ground, but had to reach out to grab the handle of the car door as her legs had stiffened from both the cold and the uncomfortable position she had been sitting in. Her jeans sat tight around her legs as the water made the fabric contract, making them stick to her legs. While pushing her hair back from her face, she turned around to glance one last time at his house, silently wishing she'd have the courage to reveal her feelings, she froze in her movements as she was sure she could distinguish a shadow behind the curtains in the kitchen window. The curtain quickly fell back in its place, reassuring her that he was indeed there, meaning he had surely spotted her. Her mind worked quickly to determine what to do with the situation. She got to the conclusion he knew she was there, and if she left now, he would of course confront her tomorrow about what the hell she was doing outside his house on a late night like this, without acknowledging herself.

_You were always the mysterious one  
with dark eyes and careless hair,  
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care_

He had watched her when she had risen from the ground, in the streetlight he could now make out her shape easier when she was no longer sitting in the shadows. But the reason to this late night visit to his drive way was still a mystery to him. He had always thought he knew her well, but sometimes Jenny Shepard surprised him. He watched her grab the door handle, saw her sway a little, and immediately began to worry if she was alright. Suddenly, she turned her head around, laying her eyes on his house. She stood still with her hand in her hair when she found the kitchen window, he cursed quietly as he realized she must have seen him. He tried discreetly to back away from the window, slowly releasing the curtain, but too late figured out that it was foolish done. He placed his hands on the kitchen table and leaned heavily. He considered inviting her in, but he figured that if she had really seen him watching her, she'd soon be standing on his doorstep, or, he thought bitterly, already be on her way home. She probably didn't wanna see him, or she would not have been sitting out in the rain for God only knows how long she'd been out there. No, she would have entered his house, even if he wasn't home, she knew he never locked the door, and she would have helped herself inside. But his car was in the drive way, and the lights were on, she knew he was home. Yet she chose to be outside. There was only on reasonable explanation.

The faint sound of knuckles against wood broke the silence. He straightened up and peeked out of the window; her car was still there, but she was not. At least not where he could see her. He hurried to the door; a shadow was visible through the frosted window in the door. He wrenched the door open, and there, right before him on his door step, stood she. He had seen her from a distance, but her appearance still shocked him. He found himself staring into her eyes, they were red from what he suspected was crying. Her clothes stuck to her petite body, the blue shirt appeared to be several shades darker when it was soaked in water. Her hair hung in wet strands down over her shoulders and her mascara was smudged around her eyes.

"Jen?" he said, almost in disbelief as he appeared to have a hard time believing it was really her that stood before him. But as the corner of her lip curled into a sad smile, he recognized the smile as hers.

_Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say  
besides some comment on the weather_

_Well in case you failed to notice,  
In case you failed to see,  
This is my heart bleeding before you,  
This is me down on my knees_

"Jethro" she replied softly, her expression became serious, almost sad again. She raked her fingers through her wet hair, fingering absentmindedly on the tip of a strand. She fell silent, her gaze traveling from his face, into the house behind him, and back to him again. Gibbs was still trying to process this new image of her, at first he was oblivious to the fact that she must be freezing to death. He abruptly became aware of just how chilly the wind was, and how cold the rain must be. He stepped aside in the doorway, offering her space to go inside.

"Come in" he said, and when she shook her head in the negative, he got the sudden urge to grab her arm and drag her over the threshold, if he needed to. Though he settled with giving her a good stare to show his disapproval. She appeared to not take any notice to the glare she had received.

"It's just raining" she shrugged a little, trying to mask her shivers. But she should know he was not easily fooled.

"Jen…" he argued, but stopped himself as her head tilted forward, and a low sob escaped her.

"Jethro…" she said as she straightened up her head, her eyes looking directly into his. He was almost thrown off by what he saw in her eyes. They were surprisingly soft, and he got a feeling she was feeling almost exposed. "Jethro, this is me, like you've never seen me look like before"

"No kidding" he replied in a low voice, but she chose to ignore him.

"To you, I don't want to be 'The Director'; I want you to look at me as the Jenny you used to work with. The Jenny you used to love" her voice broke as she said the last word, her gaze traveled away from his face and she felt her cheeks heat up a little, how they could do that was a bit of a mystery to her, considering her whole body felt like ice. More tears found their way down her heated cheeks. She just hoped he wasn't able to distinguish the tears from the raindrops.

"Jen…" she turned her face further away as he said her name. The tone had been full of doubt and a hint of hesitation. "Jen, it was you who ended it"

Like she really needed to be reminded of that! Every day for the past six she had thought of that day, the day she made the worst mistake of her life. She had broken her own heart, and his too, she was sure of. The more she thought of the past, the angrier she became at herself. How could someone let go of the love of your life, just like that? She had. It was only afterwards when the pain caught up with her, that she realized her mistake. But then it was too late.

"I know…" she whispered. Her heart pounded so furiously in her chest she was certain he could hear it. "But my heart never stopped beating for you. It still hasn't. Even though it is broken. I broke it myself when I left you."

"Any chance it will ever heal?" his voice was surprisingly soft, and before she could turn her face to look up at him, she felt his fingertips brush against her cheek, slipping under her chin and gently lifting her head. Her green eyes red from crying met his bright blue ones. A sadness and pain she'd never seen before had appeared in his eyes. She was obviously not the only one still carrying on a broken heart.

"Only you can heal it" she answered, and thought for a second the corner of his lips rose into a slight smile, before seriousness once again came over his features. His hand trailed tentatively down the side of her neck, over her wet hair, until it finally rested on her shoulder. His eyes wandered from hers and he fixed them upon his hand slowly massaging her shoulder.

"Maybe we both are in need of healing" he replied, still not focusing his gaze on her face. Jenny held her breath, not daring to hope he meant what she thought he meant, her heart couldn't take being failed again. "I feel the same as you do, the same heartbreak" he mumbled.

"I thought…I though it was the right thing to do at that moment…" she began hesitantly, when he still didn't look at her, she continued "But I was wrong" she swallowed and tried to compose herself. New tears threatened to fall and it was beginning to show in her voice she was crying. "So wrong" she added in a whisper that almost muffled a sob, but not completely.

"Stop" he demanded, his voice harsher then she would have expected. Her eyes opened widely, staring at his face, and tears ran in floods down her cheeks.

"Jethro…" her voice was failing her, but so was everything else. He finally met her eyes; his were icy and full of pain.

"Jen, stop this foolish game" his hand gripped tighter around her shoulder as he tried to control his frustration. He didn't really want to take it out on her, but he needed to hear the words he'd longed to hear for six years.

"What game?"

"Just…tell me what I want to hear, instead of reliving the past we both wish to change. Tell me what never changed. Stop trying to make me say it first, I need to hear it as much as you do" he loosened his grip on her shoulder and stared deeply into her eyes.

"Jethro…I've already told you how I feel…"

"Yeah, indirectly. Jen, why can't you just say it? Why are you afraid of admitting your true feelings to me?"

"I'm not afraid! I'm just…broken. I love you, Jethro. If that's what you needed me to say, then here it is; I love you, and I always have. But what _I_ need to know is that you feel the same, because I can't have my heart broken once more" her whole body was shaking, her heart was beating so fast she thought she was gonna faint, silent wishes roared through her head, wishes that he would tell her what she had just told him.

For a time no longer than a couple of seconds he stared into her eyes. For her it felt like hours before he made a move. She could not have been more shocked when he took a quick step forward, swiftly closing the distance between them and before she was even aware of what was happening, she could feel his lips on hers.

The woman felt wet and ice-cold in his arms, making him shiver together with her. But the warmth spreading from his heart and filling him up inside was worth the discomfort. He felt her lips part and deepened the kiss, her hands had sneaked around to rest on the small of his back. Those three words was everything he needed to hear, if she only had told him at the very beginning instead of stalling to make him say it first. But his heart was finally starting to heal, after six years of forcing the pain aside, trying to suppress his feelings for her by trying to forget, looking for other women to fall in love with. But nothing had made him forget Jenny Shepard. And now she stood in his arms again, finally admitting she loved him too.

He felt her slowly withdraw from him, his eyes were still closed as their lips lost contact, he held on to her taste and as his eyelids fluttered open, the first thing he saw was her smile.

"I love you, Jenny" his words warmed the parts of her body the kiss hadn't reached.

"Does this mean we are done with the foolish game of pretending we're over each other?" she teased and pressed her body closer to his, soaking his clothes as well.

"Oh yes, definitely" he replied, his voice just a low rumble, but it managed to increase her pulse by a thousand fold.

"Aren't you gonna invite me in from the cold?" she asked seductively, trailing her hands up and down his back. He just smiled down at her and bent down to peck her on the lips. Just as he was about to pull away, she caught his lips between hers, kissing him again with full force. Holding her securely around the waist, he walked backward into his house. She smiled into his mouth as she swiftly closed the door behind them.

_**The End**_


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